Why am I doing this?
Yesterday was a difficult day and I had someone help me. This morning I woke up thinking, today is another day and everything is going to be alright… Well it wasn’t. I left St-Georges at around 9 am. I was not even out of the City that I felt yesterday’s pain in my knee, but even worst. It was awful, and my first thought was: “Oh my god, I have 80kms to ride, mostly uphill and I can’t even climb this tiny hill without pain… how am I going to do this?” then came the thought, “I’m going to warm up and the pain will go away”. But it did not. By the time I had done 5 kms, the pain was so bad, I had to walk my bike up every hill. I kept telling myself: “You can’t quit, you have too many people cheering for you, too many people to inspire, you gotta tough it out! Well I toughed it out to the 20th km, cycling and walking, until even walking was now hurting… I kept asking myself why I was doing this. Why suffer so much, am I really having fun doing this trip? Then I read a Facebook message I sent a new friend recently about the first lessons of this trip for me were about letting go. So I decided to let go, and start hitchhiking. I figured only a pick-up truck or something like that could stop, and maybe I can find a few between where I was and Lac Megantic to bring me where I needed to be tonight. So I asked the higher powers for help, to bring me what I needed to keep going, whatever it was. And then came Mario. He was on his way home which was only a few kilometers away, yet he decided to stop and help me. We put the bike, the trailer and all my bags in the back of his truck, and Rose and I got up front. We started sharing, me about my journey and him about his life.
Mario is a Reiki Master and a Healer, he told me he can even communicate with people who have passed away. I told him I would love for him to work on my knee and not only did he agree to do that, he also chose to drive me all the way to where I am staying tonight, 60 kms out if his way. I did not know what else to say other than thank you… He told me that usually when your knees hurt your body wants to tell you that you are resisting something, and he asked me the same question I was asking myself this morning… Why are you doing this? And that is when I started crying, and finally was authentic to myself that I was putting a lot of pressure on myself to look good in front of everyone following me. I can’t let them down, I have to keep pushing myself even if I am hurt… Then I realised how much this was insane! This project is about contribution and inspire people to give to each other, to help, to pay it forward, it is not about reaching as many places as possible in a given time. And looking at my first week, I have come across so many people willing to do just that… for ME, because they were inspired by me… and THIS is why I am doing this. So here I am sitting outside looking at a wonderful landscape, writing this blog, with tears in my eyes, because I just now realized that I am making a difference, one person at a time, just like I dreamed of. Now all I have to do is not put pressure on myself, let go, and go forward, one km at a time. Thank you Mario, thank you God, the Universe, and all of you who send me your love every day. I really feel it and it does make a difference!